§ 03 / THE PLANTATION

BANANAS.

∞ BANANAS · 1 PLANTATION · NO REGRETS
POTASSIUM!
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THE BACKSTORY

WHY
BANANAS?

It started with one banana on the passenger seat of Chadillac One. "For the drive," Chad said. Then there were thirty. Then there was a crate. Then there was an acre of land in the tropics and a direct shipping arrangement that the customs agents have stopped asking questions about.

The plantation is small by agricultural standards. Massive by any reasonable personal standard. Chad is proud.

BANANAS CONSUMED
1
PLANTATION (SMALL)
6
VARIETIES GROWN
0
BANANA EMERGENCIES
THE REVIEWED VARIETIES
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THE CLASSIC
Musa Cavendish
CHAD RATING: 10/10
Reliable. Dependable. Like a good Cadillac.
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RED BANANA
Musa acuminata (Red)
CHAD RATING: 9/10
Looks like a hot rod. Tastes even better.
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FINGER BANANA
Musa acuminata (Lady)
CHAD RATING: 11/10
Small but mighty. Just like nothing else on this list.
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PLANTAIN
Musa × paradisiaca
CHAD RATING: 8/10
Fried in butter. Do not argue.
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BURRO BANANA
Musa acuminata (Burro)
CHAD RATING: 9/10
Chunky. Lemony. Drives like a '59 Cadillac.
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ICE CREAM
Musa acuminata (Blue)
CHAD RATING: 10/10
Blue-green skin. Vanilla flavor. Zero subtlety.
WANT BANANAS?
Chad has plenty. Ask nicely. Or don't — he'll probably give you one anyway.
CONTACT CHAD →